Exam Days

MIDTERMS = FEAR

Today is my last midterm.  Sigh, cheers, definitely going to drink some beers today. 
I can't wait to get home today from class!
For the last week and a half I have had exams looming over my head.  They linger in my head and they talk to me.  (Weird, I know, but the voices are there, I have heard them my friends)  They say things like "study or I will kick your ass", "maybe you should just quit m*ther f*cker", "I will ruin your life".  They are not nice thoughts and these tests are meaner and scarier than any education tests I took.
Rydberg's equation, Planck's Formula, The Citric Acid Cyle, The Calvin Cycle, Thylakoids, graphing quadratic functions, arcsin(sin3), tetragonal pyramidal, molecular orbits, E=MC squared
"What the f*ck did that guy just say?!?!?!!?!?!?!?" 
Exactly, welcome to my world.  Four months ago I was a teacher.  I gave exams.  I graded some of them. (Grading, not good at it, big influence on my decision to get out) I stared for hours at the internet, listened to music, did crosswords, and ate fast food for free. 
I traded all this in (I still wonder why from time to time). I will admit, I have gained a shitload of knowledge but the voices still linger, "have you studied enough", "better start that homework son", "time waits for no man, especially you retard, get off your lazy ass and pick up a book".
The voices keep me motivated in some strange way.  After all, college is like golf (which I wish I was doing everyday all day).  It is you verse the course, a survival of the fittest in a way.  As of right now I am kicking my feet and keeping afloat, but I am on the verge of going under.
I have my own voice to fight back, "I am going to whoop your ass test, prepare to die", " I am going to kick your FACE IN exam", "The price is wrong bitch!" I won't let it happen. 
These courses won't beat me but the thought is always there.  It looms like the gray clouds over CLEVELAND!

Time to get out of here and head to the library.  Thank god for beer, Ice down the 12 pack Martha, DADDY IS THIRSTY!

"TALENT"

(Just so you know I am taking a break from studying to bring you this great information)

There is nothing like the homecoming football game.  Fans of all ages come together to celebrates a school's heritage and to see the team whoop some ass against a lesser foe.  It is also a great place to see the schools real "talent".  Florida has real advantage in bringing out the "talent" due to the climate.  By now most northern schools have busted out the hoodies and jeans, but not here!  The weather is perfect for mini skirts, short shorts, and skimpy tops adorned with school logos.

I had a friend coming to town to watch the lesser foe (who won the game, f*ck*ing ***hol**) so I organized a tailgate of somewhat massive proportions.  I busted out the 1990 stereo complete with generator to blast music (this of course didn't work but it looked like a great idea on paper), grill, cornhole, flip cup, and beer pong in an effort to have the greatest tailgate of all.  We set up next to some of my classmates who were all about partying it up for homecoming and had some great "talent" on display.  Within moments of setting up, we got to witness one of the "talented" girls get an underage (classic memories flowed back to all of us at that point).

We proceeded to party and challenged our younger neighbors to a game of flip cup, which we dominated.  We have many years of experience in these games so you probably shouldn't play us.  *** TOGIC spent many years undefeated in his first tour of duty in college, a little known fact to these youngsters ***  This gave us much confidence as we made our jaw dropping walk to the stadium.  "Talent" was everywhere as we made our approach.  This only improved as we entered.  Holy *hi*, this place is a mecca.  "Talent" of all kinds was around us for the next 3 hours.  Any type you can imagine in every direction, as our heads were spinning around in amazement like were were in the Exorcist.

The moral of this story: A great bonus of being in college is the constant viewing of beauty and "talent"!  It makes the studying and studying and studying bearable. 

Even though I am too old to get involved in the talent search, I still enjoy the great sights of college.

Facebook

Facebook.  A place to talk to friends.  A place to keep in touch.  A place to see who's where and doing what at any time of day.  A place to waste so much that you forget you have a blog!

"What have I been doing?" you probably are wondering.  Most of you who are really thinking, "seriously, what is this dumb*ss doing that he has no time to write on his blog?  He is in college and works 10 hours a week.  Seriously what is this sh*thead doing?" 

Apparently I have been doing homework, or at least I try to do as much as I can.  I have some assignments that have taken as many as 10 hours to complete and many others that have been 5 or more.  That takes away from fun time and free time.  I must admit to you, my loyal followers, I have been spending all my time on FACEBOOK. 
The greatest place on earth.  At the click of a button you can have your own farm.  You can play poker, family feud, adventure games, and now sports themed games.  Dammit, they got me.  I am sucked in worse than ever.  COLLEGE+ FACEBOOK= HOOKED.  (I have been learning a lot of equations lately)I have become an addicted to becoming the greatest player of all time in all of the pointless games to waste your day and your brain.  Who wants to know all about the Born-Haber Cycle anyways?  I know I need to learn it, but my owner called.  I need to spend 20 minutes kicking 45 field goals to raise money to buy some pointless player or upgrade my worthless stadium.  He pays the bills, he is the boss, gotta do what he says or I might not obtain that #1 status.  I will read it later, OK!  Just let me kick a few more field goals.
In closing, I need to step my game up. 
Plus you all need to here about the talent at the homecoming game.

All Apologies

Apologies are the sign of weakness some wise man said some time in history.  If this is the case then I must admit my weakness.  I am a slacker, always have been always will be (hence no blog in almost 2 weeks).  For that I apologize.  I know what I am, or at least what I have been in the past.  Amazingly, slacking is not the problem this time, it is exhaustion.  A new page has turned for me in the "Book of Nerdiness" .
What is this turning of the page you ask? 
Is it a girl? NO. 
Is it a job? Kind of. 
Is it partying too much? I WISH!!!!!!!

This new thing is called STUDYING.  I can hear you guys thinking, "What is this studying thing?".  Let me try to explain this new phenomenon in my life.
STUDYING IS
1. Doing your assignments that are not graded
2. Reading a text book
3. Typing papers and redundant lab reports
4. Doing assignments
5. Doing math problems for hours upon hours (the computer math homework has me logged in for 13 hours of time, are you f'ing kidding me, over a half day of my life doing math problems)
6. Doing more math problems for hours upon hours (It comes with being the old guy in class who hasn't done math problems in 11 years)
7. Etc. etc. etc etc etc etc

STUDYING IS NOT
1. Getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
2. Getting laid while getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
3. Smoking pot and getting laid while getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
4. playing video games
5. enjoyable in any way
6. fun time spent with friends
7. spending time writing a blog
8. playing beer pong
9. Drinking while watching NFL games on Sundays
10. Fishing
11.  ETC ETC ETC

Like I said my dedicated followers, ALL APOLOGIES!  I have somehow turned all my free time into study time and have literally worn myself out in the process.  I hate myself for this. 
How have I become a nerd with no life? 
Answer; I have killed too many brain cells over the last 13 years. 
I feel like Homer Simpson, DOH!
I need to go get some Duff, but before I can do that I have to do my homework (DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Chipping Paint

What a week; 2 quizzes, 4 boring lectures, more math problems than I have done in my whole life, and 3 days of chipping paint.  All of these things combine to form my weekly existence.  TGIF; 30 beers, shots, headache, football, bbq, camping, rest.  Then its repeat.  Next week; 2 quizzes, 2 boring lectures (THANK YOU LABOR DAY!), more math problems than I have done in my whole life II, and ??? days of chipping paint.
Now more than ever I am starting to feel the reality of my decision.  My check from the government came this week (enough for rent and ramen) and my last work paycheck is almost gone.  Chip Chip Chip study study study drink drink drink (a great part of college life) study study study chip chip chip drink drink drink.  This is what my life has become.  Gone are the days of saying do your work, be quiet, pick up your trash, turn in your work, stop texting, etc.  I don't miss those days.  Chip chip chip study study study drink drink drink.  Keep your eyes on the prize.  After 2 weeks I can already see that big mother fuc**** boat at the dock loaded up and ready to go on a weekend sail to Key West for Labor Day Weekend.
Until then I will chip chip chip study study study and drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink. 


Still no party invites :(

The Weekend

I love weekends. 
My friends and I decided we would go to a local establishment in the area to watch the MMA fights Saturday night.  This is always a good idea because the waitstaff has so much "talent".  We were blessed with a very "talented" waitress.  Her talent was that she was good looking in her tight and skimpy outfit, but let's not forget she was also great at bringing us our 32oz beers. 
The crowd was pretty normal for the atmosphere and my friend Steve brought his buddy who was dressed in TAPOUT gear from hat to shoes (a sign of a major douche bag).   All of a sudden a large group of younger people showed up and it turns out they were all going to my college.  Amazing, it was great for my friends to see first hand what I was exposed to everyday.  "They look so young I thought they were in high school" one of them said (thats because they were in high school 4 months ago).  Two of them stared in amazement at one coed with long blond hair, a perfect tan, and a short white mini skirt (I am pretty sure she was scared by them too).  As we struck up a little conversation they didn't really believe me that we go to the same school.  Understandable.  I am a little heavier and have much less hair than back in my first tour of duty.  I had to whip out my ID so they would believe us. 
As the fight neared its end, they took off for a party down by the campus somewhere.  Sadly we were not invited to this beer blast even though we were drinking beer right next to them.  It could have been the fact that my friends stared at the girls the entire 2.5 hours or because we resembled their former teachers.  Still we hold out hope of what is to come, there is a lot of pressure on me to get us invited to a party.
 
Today's post isn't the best and I apologize, but blame it on my chemistry Professor and the 2 hours of homework I just completed.  You try and be creative after figuring out how many km you can drive on 3 gallons of gas if gas costs 1.10 euros per liter and you have and you have 5 dollars.  More to come ......

The Week is OVER!!! (almost)

TGIF followers, wow am I tired.  It was so tough getting up for my 8AM class today.  I am sure those of you who work for a living now are thinking gosh he's got it rough.  But way back when I was in college that would have been a valid statement becuase you and I both were at the bar til they kicked us out on a Thursday night.  That was a whole different time and place then.  Back when it was common to wake up with random taco bell or skyline bags, pizza boxes, and even an occasional girl or guy in the bed next to you.  Then it was jump out of bed, hit the shower depending on how many times we hit the snooze button, light up a smoke and head to class. But I tell you friends those times are past me and probably past most of you.  One good thing about the snooze button, it still works except its on my cell now instead of my alarm clock.  (More on cell phones later)  Let me tell you a little bit about my wild Thursday night that made me so tired this morning.  I was probably ready for bed about 9 pm, but I am in college and I had to persevere so I could stay up to find out what J-Woww and Snookie were up to in the 305.  Then I wasn't tired, I am in college for Christ's sake, I can stay up as late as I want.  So I watched a movie and went to bed about 1 am.  Lookout for wild times like that  I tell you, they can really get you in trouble.

Next thing I know the alarm clock has been going off for 20 minutes. I jumped out of bed (no shower), drove thru multiple school zones (I am a commuter now), got stuck in traffic, then behind a bus, narrowly missed a man on a bike who was drinking a hidden container in a brown bag, found a spot in the garage, and hustled to class.  I got there one minute late and all 6, yes 6, of the other students were already there.  The instructuor for the BIO Lab I am taking must be about 24.  By the way he talked and acted I thought, this guy has never kissed a girl in his life and has probably spent his whole college career studying in the lab and playing World of Warcraft. Great (sarcasm).  I mean, I am a nerd now but come on.  There is more to life than being a supernerd lab TA.  I think the only positive of the whole experience was that I didn't walk into class smelling like a brewery with bloodshot eyes like I would have back in the day.

Here are some things you can expect in future editions (I don't work on the weekend):  My Campus, Girls, Cell Phones, Books and the Bookstore, The INTERNET, Parking Garages ( I only forgot where I parked once so far), Homework, etc...

Sadly I didn't get invited to any parties this week.  Don't these kids know that I am 21 and I can get Booze???  Apparently I don't look like much fun to these early twenty somethings and late teens but there are a few things I could show them (and you out there I am sure have some ideas yourselves).  Maybe next week I will get invited to my first Kegger, until then I can only hope.

Now I have to work on some Precalculus homework, but don't worry.  I already have my first afternoon cocktail in hand.  It is Friday you know!

Something for Rob

Although I forgot to mention it yesterday, a big push was given by my boy Rob (a small kick in the ass) because he said what I was thinking.  ROB "Why don't you start a blog about going back to college?" TOGIC (The Old Guy In Class) "You know what, I was thinking the same thing.  Let me do some research and I will get it started"  So tip your cups up to Rob, a toast and a tribute to the man that said go for it. 
But that is not the only reason we are toasting him, he also helped me to start my path to becoming the old guy in class.  Rob and I had many discussions about this future of mine and how crazy it seemed (and still does seem crazy even though its for real now).  He was one of the people I first told that I was thinking of quitting my job.  He gave me quite the response as his eyes lit up with dollar signs.  "I can't wait for you to be a Dr. so I can swim in your pool and ride on your boat!"  So thanks Rob for giving some motivation not only for this blog, but also so we can ride on my boat (a big ass mother f***** with hot chicks in bikinis and one fat one for Shaun)  and swim in my pool (MTV cribs style bitches). 

Hope you all have a good night, time to go practice some cornhole (I love college) and drink some beer.
More to come .......

The First Installment

I have decided to kick this thing off.  The time has come for the Old Guy to let you know what is happening these days in college.  Being 31 and returning to college is a lot different than it used to be.  The new technology and much younger students (they were about 8-11 years old when I was in college) makes for an interesting transition from teacher and past college student to current college student. You will not know my city  or college as I will try to keep that hidden in attempt to hide my identity, but it does come from a college in Florida(at least for now).  First names or descriptions of people you may know or not know will be used from time to time. Hold on and enjoy the ride from "The Old Guy in class" point of view.  I would keep going on but I have to stop for today. I am too tired from doing my homework and reading the text.  (About 10 years ago I would have kicked my own ass for that last sentence!) More to come soon .......