Yesterday was a day that will go down in laziness history, a day like no other ... It all started a few weeks ago when I acquired a treadmill from friend. I was told it was not a good idea to place it where I wanted it (Directly in front of an HD TV with netflix), so I went with the flow and put it where SHE wanted it. A dreadful place, the back bedroom had a 27 inch 1995 TV with no remote and no TV stand. So, fatter I became as the treadmill collected dust in the back bedroom. It called to me but I refused to watch such an inferior TV while working out.
Yesterday I had an epiphany. A bright light shone from that back bedroom yesterday and the treadmill called out to me like Rapunzel. "Come save me fatboy, for I am all alone in this dreadful place. Put me where I rightly belong, in front on an HD TV with a remote and netflix. I will help you if you just please give me a chance!" the treadmill exclaimed. I jumped up off the couch and pulled that treadmill out and gave it the seat of honor it deserves then immediately started trying to lose a few pounds. However, I do have strict rules for treadmill usage.
My Terms of Usage
1. Cold drink, water or alcoholic beverage ... check
2. Remote .. check
3. Wii Remote ... check
4. AC set to 78 ... check
5. Flip Flops .... check
6. Misc. Items to add enjoyment ... Check
52 minutes later I had finished a two mile walk through TV land. Slow, steady, and comfortable; A Walk to Remember! Now if I can just keep it up and beat my pace. My goal for tonight is 2 miles under 50 minutes, momma raised an athlete!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Flying with the Owls and Soaring with the Eagles
Summer time is quickly passing. Wild nights and early mornings, but hey, it's summer people. Hanging out with teachers day and night is wearing me out.
I belong to the real world where the only days off are weekends. If I do choose to take a day off there is no sick pay with leave for self option when I inform the boss. Basically, a day off is like throwing away money. I have wiped my ass with too many twenties this year but I did it all with no regrets.
For example, yesterday afternoon I called the boss because I had to TCB. (I already worked 5 hours at my other job so it wasn't like I did nothing all day) He happily let me off work and joined me after the TCB part of my day was done. This was followed by a "Beach Bar Bicycle Poker Run". A few of us, including my boss, came up with the idea and have successfully completed 2 BBBPR's. This involves spending money and not making money but it is "exhilirating" according to one of yesterday's participants.
The moral of my story, wiping your ass with twenties is a blast. A low bank account balance is not a blast.
It's summer time, I live in Florida right near the beach, money isn't everything, so in the words of the Black Eyed Peas, let's live it up!!!
I belong to the real world where the only days off are weekends. If I do choose to take a day off there is no sick pay with leave for self option when I inform the boss. Basically, a day off is like throwing away money. I have wiped my ass with too many twenties this year but I did it all with no regrets.
For example, yesterday afternoon I called the boss because I had to TCB. (I already worked 5 hours at my other job so it wasn't like I did nothing all day) He happily let me off work and joined me after the TCB part of my day was done. This was followed by a "Beach Bar Bicycle Poker Run". A few of us, including my boss, came up with the idea and have successfully completed 2 BBBPR's. This involves spending money and not making money but it is "exhilirating" according to one of yesterday's participants.
The moral of my story, wiping your ass with twenties is a blast. A low bank account balance is not a blast.
It's summer time, I live in Florida right near the beach, money isn't everything, so in the words of the Black Eyed Peas, let's live it up!!!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Is There ANYBODY Out There?????
Well, TOGIC made it through one year. Wow, amazing, incredible, breathtaking, rediculous, fantastic, and so on and so forth.
What a year, no "real" work. Trying to stay afloat on 2 part time jobs and money from the man is not the best but it sure beats the hell out of being a teacher in Florida.
I managed (by the grace of god) to get all A's with the exception of 2 B pluses which are just as bullshit as an A-.
The summer thought for the day, god bless yoga pants.
What a year, no "real" work. Trying to stay afloat on 2 part time jobs and money from the man is not the best but it sure beats the hell out of being a teacher in Florida.
I managed (by the grace of god) to get all A's with the exception of 2 B pluses which are just as bullshit as an A-.
The summer thought for the day, god bless yoga pants.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Exam Days
MIDTERMS = FEAR
Today is my last midterm. Sigh, cheers, definitely going to drink some beers today.
I can't wait to get home today from class!
For the last week and a half I have had exams looming over my head. They linger in my head and they talk to me. (Weird, I know, but the voices are there, I have heard them my friends) They say things like "study or I will kick your ass", "maybe you should just quit m*ther f*cker", "I will ruin your life". They are not nice thoughts and these tests are meaner and scarier than any education tests I took.
Rydberg's equation, Planck's Formula, The Citric Acid Cyle, The Calvin Cycle, Thylakoids, graphing quadratic functions, arcsin(sin3), tetragonal pyramidal, molecular orbits, E=MC squared
"What the f*ck did that guy just say?!?!?!!?!?!?!?"
Exactly, welcome to my world. Four months ago I was a teacher. I gave exams. I graded some of them. (Grading, not good at it, big influence on my decision to get out) I stared for hours at the internet, listened to music, did crosswords, and ate fast food for free.
I traded all this in (I still wonder why from time to time). I will admit, I have gained a shitload of knowledge but the voices still linger, "have you studied enough", "better start that homework son", "time waits for no man, especially you retard, get off your lazy ass and pick up a book".
The voices keep me motivated in some strange way. After all, college is like golf (which I wish I was doing everyday all day). It is you verse the course, a survival of the fittest in a way. As of right now I am kicking my feet and keeping afloat, but I am on the verge of going under.
I have my own voice to fight back, "I am going to whoop your ass test, prepare to die", " I am going to kick your FACE IN exam", "The price is wrong bitch!" I won't let it happen.
These courses won't beat me but the thought is always there. It looms like the gray clouds over CLEVELAND!
Time to get out of here and head to the library. Thank god for beer, Ice down the 12 pack Martha, DADDY IS THIRSTY!
Today is my last midterm. Sigh, cheers, definitely going to drink some beers today.
I can't wait to get home today from class!
For the last week and a half I have had exams looming over my head. They linger in my head and they talk to me. (Weird, I know, but the voices are there, I have heard them my friends) They say things like "study or I will kick your ass", "maybe you should just quit m*ther f*cker", "I will ruin your life". They are not nice thoughts and these tests are meaner and scarier than any education tests I took.
Rydberg's equation, Planck's Formula, The Citric Acid Cyle, The Calvin Cycle, Thylakoids, graphing quadratic functions, arcsin(sin3), tetragonal pyramidal, molecular orbits, E=MC squared
"What the f*ck did that guy just say?!?!?!!?!?!?!?"
Exactly, welcome to my world. Four months ago I was a teacher. I gave exams. I graded some of them. (Grading, not good at it, big influence on my decision to get out) I stared for hours at the internet, listened to music, did crosswords, and ate fast food for free.
I traded all this in (I still wonder why from time to time). I will admit, I have gained a shitload of knowledge but the voices still linger, "have you studied enough", "better start that homework son", "time waits for no man, especially you retard, get off your lazy ass and pick up a book".
The voices keep me motivated in some strange way. After all, college is like golf (which I wish I was doing everyday all day). It is you verse the course, a survival of the fittest in a way. As of right now I am kicking my feet and keeping afloat, but I am on the verge of going under.
I have my own voice to fight back, "I am going to whoop your ass test, prepare to die", " I am going to kick your FACE IN exam", "The price is wrong bitch!" I won't let it happen.
These courses won't beat me but the thought is always there. It looms like the gray clouds over CLEVELAND!
Time to get out of here and head to the library. Thank god for beer, Ice down the 12 pack Martha, DADDY IS THIRSTY!
Monday, October 18, 2010
"TALENT"
(Just so you know I am taking a break from studying to bring you this great information)
There is nothing like the homecoming football game. Fans of all ages come together to celebrates a school's heritage and to see the team whoop some ass against a lesser foe. It is also a great place to see the schools real "talent". Florida has real advantage in bringing out the "talent" due to the climate. By now most northern schools have busted out the hoodies and jeans, but not here! The weather is perfect for mini skirts, short shorts, and skimpy tops adorned with school logos.
I had a friend coming to town to watch the lesser foe (who won the game, f*ck*ing ***hol**) so I organized a tailgate of somewhat massive proportions. I busted out the 1990 stereo complete with generator to blast music (this of course didn't work but it looked like a great idea on paper), grill, cornhole, flip cup, and beer pong in an effort to have the greatest tailgate of all. We set up next to some of my classmates who were all about partying it up for homecoming and had some great "talent" on display. Within moments of setting up, we got to witness one of the "talented" girls get an underage (classic memories flowed back to all of us at that point).
We proceeded to party and challenged our younger neighbors to a game of flip cup, which we dominated. We have many years of experience in these games so you probably shouldn't play us. *** TOGIC spent many years undefeated in his first tour of duty in college, a little known fact to these youngsters *** This gave us much confidence as we made our jaw dropping walk to the stadium. "Talent" was everywhere as we made our approach. This only improved as we entered. Holy *hi*, this place is a mecca. "Talent" of all kinds was around us for the next 3 hours. Any type you can imagine in every direction, as our heads were spinning around in amazement like were were in the Exorcist.
The moral of this story: A great bonus of being in college is the constant viewing of beauty and "talent"! It makes the studying and studying and studying bearable.
Even though I am too old to get involved in the talent search, I still enjoy the great sights of college.
There is nothing like the homecoming football game. Fans of all ages come together to celebrates a school's heritage and to see the team whoop some ass against a lesser foe. It is also a great place to see the schools real "talent". Florida has real advantage in bringing out the "talent" due to the climate. By now most northern schools have busted out the hoodies and jeans, but not here! The weather is perfect for mini skirts, short shorts, and skimpy tops adorned with school logos.
I had a friend coming to town to watch the lesser foe (who won the game, f*ck*ing ***hol**) so I organized a tailgate of somewhat massive proportions. I busted out the 1990 stereo complete with generator to blast music (this of course didn't work but it looked like a great idea on paper), grill, cornhole, flip cup, and beer pong in an effort to have the greatest tailgate of all. We set up next to some of my classmates who were all about partying it up for homecoming and had some great "talent" on display. Within moments of setting up, we got to witness one of the "talented" girls get an underage (classic memories flowed back to all of us at that point).
We proceeded to party and challenged our younger neighbors to a game of flip cup, which we dominated. We have many years of experience in these games so you probably shouldn't play us. *** TOGIC spent many years undefeated in his first tour of duty in college, a little known fact to these youngsters *** This gave us much confidence as we made our jaw dropping walk to the stadium. "Talent" was everywhere as we made our approach. This only improved as we entered. Holy *hi*, this place is a mecca. "Talent" of all kinds was around us for the next 3 hours. Any type you can imagine in every direction, as our heads were spinning around in amazement like were were in the Exorcist.
The moral of this story: A great bonus of being in college is the constant viewing of beauty and "talent"! It makes the studying and studying and studying bearable.
Even though I am too old to get involved in the talent search, I still enjoy the great sights of college.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Facebook. A place to talk to friends. A place to keep in touch. A place to see who's where and doing what at any time of day. A place to waste so much that you forget you have a blog!
"What have I been doing?" you probably are wondering. Most of you who are really thinking, "seriously, what is this dumb*ss doing that he has no time to write on his blog? He is in college and works 10 hours a week. Seriously what is this sh*thead doing?"
Apparently I have been doing homework, or at least I try to do as much as I can. I have some assignments that have taken as many as 10 hours to complete and many others that have been 5 or more. That takes away from fun time and free time. I must admit to you, my loyal followers, I have been spending all my time on FACEBOOK.
The greatest place on earth. At the click of a button you can have your own farm. You can play poker, family feud, adventure games, and now sports themed games. Dammit, they got me. I am sucked in worse than ever. COLLEGE+ FACEBOOK= HOOKED. (I have been learning a lot of equations lately)I have become an addicted to becoming the greatest player of all time in all of the pointless games to waste your day and your brain. Who wants to know all about the Born-Haber Cycle anyways? I know I need to learn it, but my owner called. I need to spend 20 minutes kicking 45 field goals to raise money to buy some pointless player or upgrade my worthless stadium. He pays the bills, he is the boss, gotta do what he says or I might not obtain that #1 status. I will read it later, OK! Just let me kick a few more field goals.
In closing, I need to step my game up.
Plus you all need to here about the talent at the homecoming game.
"What have I been doing?" you probably are wondering. Most of you who are really thinking, "seriously, what is this dumb*ss doing that he has no time to write on his blog? He is in college and works 10 hours a week. Seriously what is this sh*thead doing?"
Apparently I have been doing homework, or at least I try to do as much as I can. I have some assignments that have taken as many as 10 hours to complete and many others that have been 5 or more. That takes away from fun time and free time. I must admit to you, my loyal followers, I have been spending all my time on FACEBOOK.
The greatest place on earth. At the click of a button you can have your own farm. You can play poker, family feud, adventure games, and now sports themed games. Dammit, they got me. I am sucked in worse than ever. COLLEGE+ FACEBOOK= HOOKED. (I have been learning a lot of equations lately)I have become an addicted to becoming the greatest player of all time in all of the pointless games to waste your day and your brain. Who wants to know all about the Born-Haber Cycle anyways? I know I need to learn it, but my owner called. I need to spend 20 minutes kicking 45 field goals to raise money to buy some pointless player or upgrade my worthless stadium. He pays the bills, he is the boss, gotta do what he says or I might not obtain that #1 status. I will read it later, OK! Just let me kick a few more field goals.
In closing, I need to step my game up.
Plus you all need to here about the talent at the homecoming game.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
All Apologies
Apologies are the sign of weakness some wise man said some time in history. If this is the case then I must admit my weakness. I am a slacker, always have been always will be (hence no blog in almost 2 weeks). For that I apologize. I know what I am, or at least what I have been in the past. Amazingly, slacking is not the problem this time, it is exhaustion. A new page has turned for me in the "Book of Nerdiness" .
What is this turning of the page you ask?
Is it a girl? NO.
Is it a job? Kind of.
Is it partying too much? I WISH!!!!!!!
This new thing is called STUDYING. I can hear you guys thinking, "What is this studying thing?". Let me try to explain this new phenomenon in my life.
STUDYING IS
1. Doing your assignments that are not graded
2. Reading a text book
3. Typing papers and redundant lab reports
4. Doing assignments
5. Doing math problems for hours upon hours (the computer math homework has me logged in for 13 hours of time, are you f'ing kidding me, over a half day of my life doing math problems)
6. Doing more math problems for hours upon hours (It comes with being the old guy in class who hasn't done math problems in 11 years)
7. Etc. etc. etc etc etc etc
STUDYING IS NOT
1. Getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
2. Getting laid while getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
3. Smoking pot and getting laid while getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
4. playing video games
5. enjoyable in any way
6. fun time spent with friends
7. spending time writing a blog
8. playing beer pong
9. Drinking while watching NFL games on Sundays
10. Fishing
11. ETC ETC ETC
Like I said my dedicated followers, ALL APOLOGIES! I have somehow turned all my free time into study time and have literally worn myself out in the process. I hate myself for this.
How have I become a nerd with no life?
Answer; I have killed too many brain cells over the last 13 years.
I feel like Homer Simpson, DOH!
I need to go get some Duff, but before I can do that I have to do my homework (DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
What is this turning of the page you ask?
Is it a girl? NO.
Is it a job? Kind of.
Is it partying too much? I WISH!!!!!!!
This new thing is called STUDYING. I can hear you guys thinking, "What is this studying thing?". Let me try to explain this new phenomenon in my life.
STUDYING IS
1. Doing your assignments that are not graded
2. Reading a text book
3. Typing papers and redundant lab reports
4. Doing assignments
5. Doing math problems for hours upon hours (the computer math homework has me logged in for 13 hours of time, are you f'ing kidding me, over a half day of my life doing math problems)
6. Doing more math problems for hours upon hours (It comes with being the old guy in class who hasn't done math problems in 11 years)
7. Etc. etc. etc etc etc etc
STUDYING IS NOT
1. Getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
2. Getting laid while getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
3. Smoking pot and getting laid while getting Sh*tfaced and having fun in college
4. playing video games
5. enjoyable in any way
6. fun time spent with friends
7. spending time writing a blog
8. playing beer pong
9. Drinking while watching NFL games on Sundays
10. Fishing
11. ETC ETC ETC
Like I said my dedicated followers, ALL APOLOGIES! I have somehow turned all my free time into study time and have literally worn myself out in the process. I hate myself for this.
How have I become a nerd with no life?
Answer; I have killed too many brain cells over the last 13 years.
I feel like Homer Simpson, DOH!
I need to go get some Duff, but before I can do that I have to do my homework (DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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